On feedback (or, How I Like Feedback)

Even though I know in my head that feedback is a gift, an opportunity for growth, I still find it challenging to hear it and not take it personally. They aren't criticizing me, they are giving me information about behaviors and actions, which are changeable.

One thing that my organization does to make the feedback process easier is everyone has a document on our shared drive that describes how you like feedback. For me it makes giving feedback to others in my org simpler; I'm not engaging in a power struggle, things aren't getting personal, feedback is still constructive, caring, timely, clear and concise. The cool thing about them being virtual is no paper waste, and you can change them whenever you realize "Oh, that's not working for me." Pretty cool, really.

Of course, my style isn't always going to be able to be met by my supervisors or colleagues, but they definitely show they care when they give it how I like it.

How I Like Feedback

• Let me know you have feedback for me and ask if the present is a good time to have that conversation.
• I like to receive feedback in a neutral location that is neither mine nor yours.
• I like to be able to process your feedback by seeing it, so receiving it in written form is preferred. Or realizing it may take some time for me to process and allowing me the time to do so as we meet would be appreciated.
• Seek to understand me first, then to be understood by me.
• Give specific examples in your feedback.
• I like to meet about delta feedback a second time after I have had time to process the information (a few days) as opposed to come up with solutions right away.

What instruments have you and your organization found to aid in the feedback process?